If NFL Players Were Presidential Candidates

With the 2016 Presidential election just around the corner, I figured it was time that we compare NFL players to politicians…while politics are still relevant.  Everyone has their own views on politicians, but hopefully by the end of this article, you’ll see that they’re just like some of our favorite football players.  Whether we fight on the gridiron or on the podium, let’ get started.

Richard Sherman is the Donald Trump of the NFL.  They’re both loud and egotistical and claim they’re “the best” at what they do.  Sherman says he’s the best cornerback in the game and Trump says he’s the best businessman, presidential candidate, and human being there ever was.  They also each come from an experienced background.  Sherman maintained an excellent GPA at Stanford University and Trump created many jobs and has had much success as a real estate businessman.  These two bullies trash talk an insane amount as well.  The one caveat is that Sherman isn’t as disliked nationwide as Trump, I think?

Tom Brady is the Hillary Clinton of the NFL.  Alleged lies galore.  Tom, you did deflate those balls.  You did know about it, and you are a cheater.  And Hillary, you know you meant to use a private email to hide secret State Department information.  You did know about it, and you are a cheater.

Colin Kaepernick is the Bernie Sanders of the NFL.  Interesting hair styles for these two to say the least.  All Bernie has stressed to us time and time again is how certain groups of people are treated unfairly in the United States and that that needs to improve.  All Kaepernick has emphasized during his sudden resurgence of fame is how our nation doesn’t represent the liberty and justice for all like it’s supposed to.  Both of these men stand for equality and they also attract the much younger crowd.

Kirk Cousins is the Barack Obama of the NFL.  Okay, here me out on this one.  They each took over for someone who was arguably disliked more than them (Robert Griffin III and George Bush); they each created their own catchphrase or slogan (“You Like That!” and “Yes We Can!”); they’re each the captain of their team or leader of their nation; and they’ve each mentioned about 50 times how they’re either looking to get better or how things have gotten better under their reign.  Wow, that’s four similarities!

Eli Manning is the Jeb Bush of the NFL.  You ever notice how each of them always have that little boy whining look on their face?  Not to mention, they each have an older brother who was arguably better at their respective jobs.  Jeb didn’t win the primary while George Bush was president for two terms.  In a slight difference, Eli (somehow) beat the Patriots twice in the Super Bowl, but just as Bush won the nomination two times, Peyton Manning won the Super Bowl two times as well.  Furthermore, because of 9/11, George Bush won two very different elections for our nation in 2001 and 2004.  Speaking of difference, Peyton won the Super Bowl with two different teams, the only quarterback to do so.

Tony Romo is the Gary Johnson of the NFL.  Some love him and some hate him, but Gary Johnson still remains relatively unknown among third party candidates.  Similarly, you either love Romo or hate him and he seems like he’s never around either because of his recent injury bug.

Martavis Bryant is the Ben Carson of the NFL.  Bryant is suspended for one year for violating the NFL’s substance abuse policy and Carson looked like he was abusing some substance during every debate this past year.  I mean every time I look at Carson I feel like I don’t know if he’s just high or if I’m getting high from just looking at him.  Cheap shot?  Probably.

Allen Hurns is the Jill Stein of the NFL because he came out of nowhere, didn’t receive much press and is now performing well on a losing team.  Jill Stein came onto the scene in 2012 seemingly out of nowhere, didn’t receive much attention, and performed well on a platform that will never win the presidential election.  Poor Jaguars and poor Green Party.

Johnny Manziel is the Ted Cruz of the NFL because they have very similar faces and egos. Need I say more?

Whether they’re deflating balls or using private emails, fighting for extra yards or for extra bucks, signing four year deals or serving four year terms, our NFL players and Presidential candidates are more similar than one may think. while this is true, one decides the victory on Sundays and the other decides the direction of the United States.  Small difference there.  This November, we have a very important decision to make as Kirk Cousins leaves office and Richard Sherman and Tom Brady square off for POTUS.  If that’s not potentially scary then I don’t know what is.  And with that, happy cheering and happy voting.