It’s on the Haus is a daily installment of sports news from the past day. Rather than waiting an entire hour to see the big news on a television program or come to multiple stories on multiple websites to get your sports fix, It’s on the Haus gives you the biggest sports happenings all in one place. You may feel guilty for reading this concise article that gives you everything you need to know, but don’t worry, It’s on the Haus.
San Antonio Spurs Score More Points Than Houston Rockets
The San Antonio Spurs won a pivotal Game 5 against the Houston Rockets last night, taking a 3-2 series lead with their 110-107 win. The game needed an overtime period to decide the winner, and James Harden choked. Harden was 1-6 from the field, including 0-5 from behind the arc and also had four turnovers in what ESPN Stats & Info called “clutch time”.
It’s about time that the NBA feeds us fans a good playoff game. I’m tired of watching teams win in easier fashion than I dumped my AB calculus exam in high school (I got a one, which is either good or bad, depending on your worldview).
The game was a thriller from the tip to the final buzzer. The series heads to Houston for Game 6, and the Rockets will need to take each of the next two in order to advance to the Western Conference finals.
Now, that I’ve made my obligatory actual news post, let’s get onto the more important and pressing news from the day.
Portland Trail Blazers Dump Old Logo for Basically the Same Thing
The Portland Trail Blazers’ marketing scrubs are getting paid six figures for this garbage?
I know the internet is no place for crude language, so excuse my next sentence.
What the frickin’ heck, Portland? My 18-month-old niece is as creative as this new logo. I know I’m one of the more crucial logo pundits this side of the internet, but this is terrible. The only differences I see are that the red is now on top and the lines are a little differently shaped.
This is an outrage, and I will not stand for it. Luckily, I’m typing this while sitting, so let’s move onto the next topic.
LaVar Ball Continues to Say Questionable Words
LaVar Ball insinuated that his son, Lonzo, is more accomplished than Michael Jordan in his appearance on Fox Sports 1’s Undisputed on Monday.
— UNDISPUTED (@undisputed) May 8, 2017
When co-host Shannon Sharpe questioned how LaVar thinks anyone will buy his son’s shoe when MJ couldn’t sell his for $100, LaVar symbolically laid in front of a steamroller with his reply.
“Cause he ain’t Lonzo Ball, that’s why,” LaVar said. “This is a new era called the Ball era.”
There’s really no analysis to give here. There’s no reason to break down what LaVar said, because we’ve heard it all before.
I truly feel bad for Lonzo and all the Ball sons. Their dad won’t shut up, and he doesn’t even have the decency to talk calmly about Lonzo. Lonzo Ball will live a career that is unprecedented to this point, and will be endlessly ridiculed if he turns out to be a bust in the NBA.
Even if all the Ball sons are busts, they’ll be able to live off the 263 pairs of shoes they sold for the next ten years.
Matt Harvey Can’t Stop and May Never Stop
The New York Mets duped Matt Harvey out of his scheduled start last Sunday and suspended him for three games retroactive to Saturday. Harvey skipped the Mets’ game on Saturday after being inflicted with a migraine during the day.
On Tuesday, Harvey held a press conference to talk about his whereabouts. Harvey revealed he was out past curfew on Friday night and hit the green for some golf on Saturday morning. Harvey expressed remorse for his actions and said he was ready to put the incident behind him.
Harvey has put himself in between a rock and a hard place with all his shenanigans in his time with the Mets. He’s got a 5.14 ERA this season after posting a 4.86 ERA last season. The Mets won’t cut lose the 28-year-old, but his leash has got to be as short as it’s ever been.
And while we’re here, can we talk about why Harvey went golfing in the morning after being out past curfew the night before? My sources couldn’t tell me when a typical curfew is for MLB teams, but a half-hearted search on your favorite search engine database will probably give you the answer.
I love my sleep, as do all respectable humans. Why in the world would Harvey stay out late, lose sleep and then decide to go golf of all things the next morning? There’s not many things to sacrifice sleep over, but golfing is definitely not one of them.
“From Our Haus to Yours”